About me!

hello anyone here to see this!

you can call me Luke.
not my real name. but its something!!! it's a star wars refrence

"who are you?"

i was untimely ripped from my mother's womb in february 2008, and i go by he/him.

i'm 17 at the time of making this website. that'll probably change in the future if i submit to the whims of time. im sure if i tried hard enough i could decide not to age though.

when i was cut out of my flesh prsion, i was met with the horrible realization of my existence beginning in England. if not worse, the knowlege that this is where i will stay. i'm now a born and raised brit, brought up in the crusty little outskirts of london (to my own dismay).

"so what's your deal?"

if you can't tell by my odd manner of speaking (purely done on purpouse. it's funnier this way) and my insistence on not using capital letters at the start of sentences or correcting spelling errors (grammar does not control me) i am not the most mentally sound. and due to an impressive amount of outside forces, i'm unable to seek medical help. so for now i'll do a swan dive into the beautiful pit of 'learning html' so i can blog about my issues to strangers looking through neocities i will (hopefully) never meet. it's a healthier coping mechanism than many of my others, i promise you that.

"You are just so interesting and brooding and cool i bet nobody bullied you in high school. tell me some facts about yourself!"

well thank you heres a list of some shit!
  1. i animate. i want to get into the animation industry. yes i am becoming increasingly uncomfortable by the prevelance of ai why do you ask
  2. i really like doctor who. like to an extent that is not normal. people do not find this annoying about me at all. i am not an unreliable narrator.
  3. i believe that all forms of transportation (other than trains) are eldrich abominations. they are like metal animals. far too big, far too strong. if vehicles gained sentience we would actually be fucked. trains are the exception because they are trains.

"what the fuck is wrong with you?"

glad you asked
  1. autism
  2. adhd
  3. clinical depression
  4. verbally and emotionally abused to an extreme by my mother during my childhood. i was also somewhat isolated (being an only child, and only meeting with extended family outside of my mum and dad once ever 3 years or so, never having anyone to talk to or tell me what was happening wasnt normal. my dad would just watch on silently as she ould do this to me.)
  5. some sort of delusional disorder and/or dissasociative disorder idk im not diagnosed
  6. PROFESSIONAL LIAR. i have lied about my mental state to my parents since i was around eight. they think i am happy and well-rounded. i have actually tried to kill myself at least four times. i had an eating disorder for 2 years and they didnt notice. i have been hiding severe self harm scars for a while. its not exactly safe for me to tell them, and at this point i don't think they'd even beleive me!
  7. quite bad memory loss. i dont remember a single part of 2020. apparently my mum threw a chair at me at one point during it though. love her haha <33